A Slight Lament

June 21, 2011

There’s probably some blogging rule that you shouldn’t write a lament post after a several-months-long hiatus from blogging.  But, here it is.

We just took our house off the market.  After an average of four showings a week, before each of which I neurotically cleaned and made sure the house was perfect, we got one offer that was rescinded after two days.  The stress and emotional upheaval, the fear of not finding a townhome that worked for us in our community, and the uncertainty about the future was tough, to say the least. I was getting especially tired of the many trips (fleeing the house as potential buyers came to inspect) with our dog Piper breathing hot dog breath down my neck and shedding copious amounts of fur in our minivan.

We finally had to accept the fact that this market is terrible, and even when we dropped the price super low, no nibbles.  So, we’re staying.

And we’re happy to stay.  We love the house!  We just aren’t sure quite how we can afford it.

After 12 years of being a stay-at-home mom,  I was hoping to get a job at a preschool nearby.  Well, after sending my transcript to a local college to see about equivalencies with California State Requirements for being an Early Childhood Education provider, I found out today that, no, none of the coursework I did at Wheaton College in attaining my degree in Christian Education will suffice.  I am a little frustrated.

I do have other ideas for becoming gainfully employed, but I thought that teaching preschool, while not something I want to do for a lifelong career, would be a great job to work part-time while my kids are all in school next year.  It would feel more significant than selling junk in some retail store, and I truly love the preschool years of discovery and learning and personality formation.  I delight in them.  And I can still recite Piaget’s theories about cognitive development and rattle off Erik Erikson’s stages of development.  And I’ve raised three children and worked in all ages of Kids’ Ministry at church for years.  But no, I’m not certified to teach preschool.  Sheesh.

I’m also lamenting that the winds of change are blowing.  The fact that I am able to look for work, since Bridget will no longer be in preschool or half-day kindergarten, is a new thing.   My identity has been stay-at-home-mother-of-young-children for so long.  I’ve been fortunate to be able to stay home with the kids full time.  But, finances are tight and it sure would help for me to be working.  Still, the insecurities of what I can contribute and if anyone would want to hire me weigh heavily on my heart.  And change of any kind sort of freaks me out.

There it is: the grumbling, complaining lament of a mom who isn’t all that badly off in the grand scheme of life.  But that’s the reality, and I wanted to blog about it.


One Response to “A Slight Lament”

  1. mel said

    I’m with you on making major changes, but hopefully you can come to a point where you’re excited about some new opportunities that will present themselves…what about some kind of teachers aide position in a school? Or maybe a library since you have such a love of story and literature? 🙂

    Hang in there! Its a new season of life for you! How is your summer literature program going? Do you have participants? Such a great idea!

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