Fear, Part 2
February 3, 2010
Tomorrow I have the privilege of flying to Denver and meeting up with several old friends from college. I’m so excited, and my enthusiasm is only slightly dimmed by the vague sense of guilt I have for leaving Dave and the girls to fend for themselves. (Sigh. Is motherhood ever entirely devoid of guilt?) But Dave is a most competent dad, and will parent the children well and keep the household running in my absence. In fact, I’m sure that I’m not as indispensible as I sometimes feel. Just last weekend, I was off getting my hair cut, and Dave managed to get Lucy ready for a 60s-themed party, wrap the gift, find the girls’ house where the party was being held, and get her there in time! Awesome guy!
Last week I did a post on fear. The Bible Study on Esther that I’m doing at church included a recent video where Beth Moore encouraged us to face our fears. She read a passage from N.T. Wright’s book Following Jesus where the question is posed, “Can you imagine what it would be like to live without fear?” And really, I cannot. And the things that I fear most (losing Dave or one of my children to death, facing some disaster or disease, having something go horribly wrong with one of my children) are mostly likely NOT going to happen, but as long as I think that they would “un-do” me if they did, well, to that extent I am not trusting God. He tells us not to trust that He won’t let things happen that we fear, but to trust Him. The formula: “If ________, then ________” is helpful to see what we fear most and what our response would be in the face of that fear. And the “then” blank can ALWAYS be filled in with “God will take care of it.”
Oh, I’d love to have faith and trust like that.
It’s like the line in Andrew Peterson’s song Have Your Way that goes, “Thy mercy is a mighty Tower. So why should I not trust in Thee?”
One other quick “fear” passage that I stumbled across while skimming through C.S. Lewis’ Out of the Silent Planet:
This is toward the end, when Ransom is meeting with the Angel (Oyarsa) who rules Malacandra. The evil Weston is trying to explain to Oyarsa why seeking a deathless human existence is a noble goal. Oyarsa replies:
“Yes, but one thing we left behind us: fear. And with fear, murder and rebellion. The weakest of my people does not fear death. It is the Bent One, the lord of your world, who wastes your lives and befouls them with flying from what you know will overtake you in the end. If you were subjects of Maleldil (God) you would have peace.”
Okay, this is all over the map! But I wanted to get some semblance of my thoughts out there before they blew away in the windy corridors of my mind. 🙂